Argus Hamilton on the News: Porn Hub Offers to Help Fix Obamacare Site. To back President Obamas gun control measures Read more, The news, as one twisted mind sees it In the news, McDonalds announced a huge increase in sales in November after its first-ever drop in October. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) The students dont mind.They think its worth it to work day and night for free because if they make it to the Final Four they get drafted by the NBA.The Mega Millions first prize was split by three ticketholders Saturday. The official Facebook page of comedian, talk show host, and writer Argus Hamilton. ExtremeInk.com - Information for Editors Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent for more information on Argus Hamilton speaking fees, availability, speech topics and cost to hire for your next live or virtual event. With all the Fentanyl out there, who needs to play Russian Roulette nowadays? There are currently 157 luxury homes for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur on JamesEdition. Theyre getting clobbered at the All You Can Eat Buffets. Columns; Contests; Lifestyles. Smaller Twinkies seen as un-American Hostess Twinkies returned Tuesday but the new Twinkies weigh less and have less calories than old Twinkies. White House spokesman John Kirby offhandedly revealed that a second approaching object was quickly shot down out of the sky over Alaska Friday. ArgusJokes.com: Argus Hamilton's column for 8-4-09 So far, Im blessed to be having a good year financially. Hes a loyal Democrat. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. The Mars Curiosity rover was rebooted by NASA Monday after it had an unexpected glitch this past weekend. The Daily Mail says Google CEO Larry Page is on a private island in the Fijis until the virus ends. Britain reports the Delta variant's toll on Britons was much milder than expected as infection rates fell for the seventh day in a row. Hamilton-Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are all mine, Hamilton: Cant find financing for an egg salad sandwich, Hamilton: UFOs dropped off classified docs in a Delaware garage, Hamilton- All China needs is the Colonels secret recipe. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. I hope Oscar night spotlights glamour and movie magic and not political issues. Comedy Store legend Argus Hamilton jokes about the news of the day and chats with comedians and other entertainers from the basement of the World Famous Come. Bookmark the page and share it! language, country and your other public info. Get ready for all of The Comedy Store tales! friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks, Call us to speak with a booking agent to discuss your event or specific speaker request. Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More! The Publicists Manual states that in order to stay in the news, you scream racism for three days and then you develop a cocaine problem and get arrested on Sunset Boulevard.ARGUS HAMILTON, GB, Albert departments battle two structure fires Monday, Council OKs resolutions for Zarah loft project, Local volunteers strive to include girls in youth soccer, Bernard (Barney) John Kruse 1952 - 2023. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? By Argus Hamilton, January 18, 2014 We represent our speakers equally, so our goal is to provide a keynote speaker that best fits YOU. Keith Olbermann has been fired more times than a Civil War cannon.Wells Fargo opened a new banking firm Monday that serves people with fifty million dollars. Just two more payments and those dozen eggs are mine. Classic photo of Argus performing on The Tonight Show. When all the guys my age were back in high school, we fantasized about having sex with Raquel Welch. Hamilton: Is WalMart planning to invade Costco? We are here to help! All rights reserved. So far Read more, Apple introduces the new iPad Air, demonstrates it on the ObamaCare website Apple introduced a new iPad and called it the iPad Air Tuesday. You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: From A-Rod to Carlos Danger, Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: The Royal Baby & Much More. He had two mistresses fighting over him and a wife Read more. Prescott Interior Designs of Atlanta told Yahoo News people should change their toilet seats every five years. Take every bad habit you have, then multiply it by ten thousand, and youll realize that five years is a pretty good run.California storms churned waves that clobbered the World Yacht Races Monday. Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report - Argus Hamilton - Jewish World Review The World Cup in the Persian Gulf kingdom of Qatar drew universal praise for the host country for how well the crowds behaved. He'd just steal the show. You can read Argus Hamilton's outrageously funny humor column on the Internet Tuesday through Friday and Sunday -- at www.argushamilton.com/today.htm. The Centers for Disease Control reported a massive outbreak of bird flu in the United States has left 47 million chickens dead or dying, resulting in shortages. Used cars Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur France - OOYYO The Weather Channel reported a winter storm crossed the nation Wednesday as blizzards buried the Midwest and hailstorms pounded the South. Records show most lottery winners go through their winnings in five years. Donald Trump faces possible indictment in New York today for a hush money payment to the porn star. Les municipalits ont tenu profiter d'un moment de rpit dans la crise sanitaire pour clbrer la fte Nationale. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? Barries classic 1904 English stage hit. Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." They just made it into the ocean. We thank you. Published Jan. 25, 2021. The same day, Chinas navy sent three warships into Taiwanese territorial waters. Reproduction and distribution of content, with or without modification, without written permission of Laugh Factory Inc., is prohibited. Become a Humor Times patron via Patreon.com! People magazine just named her least Likely Ever to Become President. The World Health Organization reported 15 million new cases of COVID in the first week of the year when Omicron infections peaked. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. You just select one of the six lines on the table. Anheuser-Busch courted customer outrage and boycott by celebrating Transgender Rights Day by placing transgender woman activist Dylan Mulvaneys image on Bud Light beer cans Pope Francis hosts Good Friday services in Rome today for Roman Catholics worldwide. Please join them, and help support independent media! They jam up traffic, add to restaurant waiting time and clog up golf courses. He said Italians are emotional people who like to express themselves physically. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Im an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist, Argus says. Argus Hamilton on the News: Elton John, Mayor Rob Ford, the NSA & more! All rights reserved. Hamilton: Anheuser-Busch regrets its costly Bud Light move? I would like to join the exclusive Laugh Factory Members Club. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. I finally heard on the news why were having an egg shortage. If he falls down the steps everyone will know hes running for president. Jay Leno got a standing ovation Sunday after he crashed and fell off his motorcycle a month after he caught fire while working under his car. Read more, Miley Cyrus, George Clooney, Obamacare and much more Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth reportedly broke up Monday due to her raunchy MTV Awards performance. By supporting creators you love on Patreon, you're becoming an active participant in their creative process. Are you singing the seasonal allergies blues? Hamilton: Argus responsible for pandemic; he didnt send email to 10 people, Hamilton: Southwest flight is booked for Jan. 5th or 6th or 7th, Hamilton: Even the signs are private in La Jolla, Hamilton: Harry and Meghan insist in millionth interview they just want privacy, Hamilton: The Fourth Wiseman brought a fruitcake. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Contents of this site are Copyright 2023 Prescott Newspapers, Inc. and Western News&Info, Inc. All rights reserved. Prince William and Kate left her parents home Friday, sparking frenzy that the royal birth was Read more. You will receive 5 new columns each week and 2 columns from the archives. In a related story, it was just revealed that salt water salmon caught near Seattle contain both antidepressants and cocaine. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Mitt Romneys dad was an auto executive and cars and oil go hand-in-hand like solar panels and bankruptcy.House Republicans will propose tax deductions for small busines on Tax Day. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts stepped in Monday and gave Title 42 a chance to stop the invasion of illegal immigrants and deadly drugs pouring across the border. Yes, you can easily cancel or upgrade your pledge at any time. Hamilton: Murdochs much-younger fiance calls off wedding; he must have passed physical, Hamilton: Male crash dummies are too proud to ask for directions. The cop asked me why I ran through a red light and I told him its 2023, I dont see color. See if they are performing this week at Laugh Factory! And Sunday marks the Protestant Holiest of Holies, the final round of the Masters at Augusta National. Contact an All American Speakers Bureau booking agent. Things even out. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are as essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. Argus Hamilton on the News: Medicare, Duck Dynasty & Much More! Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Arizona residents wonder why you call it Snowbird Season if you can't shoot at them. Yesterday in Beverly Hills I got out of a traffic ticket by pretending that Im woke. Las Vegas hotels were reported Tuesday setting up legal consumption lounges for pot smokers to keep them out of the casinos and off the streets. In Los Angeles Read more, Paula Deen & the N-word and much more Paula Deen said she uses the N-word when joking and suggested that black waiters dress like slaves. Hes also gotten the boot from MSNBC, KCBS, Fox Sports, NBC Football Night in America and ESPN. Argus Hamilton | Speaking Fee | Booking Agent Ask Argus anything you want to know or ask Argus his advice about comedy, writing, Hollywood, etc. Check out new hilarious editorial cartoons page, updated daily! Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Umbrella-gate & More! Contact Argus@ArgusHamilton.com for more information. During the shutdown, the cable news showed a Buffalo man trudging his way through six feet of snow and clearing a path barehanded. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. All American Entertainment Named to Inc. Best Workplaces in 2022. The Walt Disney Company released the trailer for the upcoming action adventure Peter Pan and Wendy based on J.M. (Unbelievable, but true.) Hamilton: Do you know all the letters of the alphabet? Argus Hamilton on the News: Duck Dynasty & Much More! 3 talking about this. The Silicon Valley Banks failure was blamed on the combination of higher interest rates and the banks woke business practices. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Luxury homes for sale in Cagnes-sur-Mer, Provence-Alpes-Cte d'Azur Modern Health advised Baby Boomers to take up vigorous exercise to maintain health and extend our lives. Commentary. Watch Across the Street Courier Cooks Neighbors Puzzles Real Estate Top Jobs. Qatar boasted there was no violence, no hooliganism, no alcohol-fueled rioting. Argus Hamilton, Southern Man of Taste The Comedy Store Podcast Stand-Up Argus has seen it all and today he shares a couple of stories in which the felonies that were committed have passed the statute of limitations for prosecution in the great state of California. Tom Brady was reported by Radar Online Tuesday to have decided to spend the next year before he becomes an NFL sportscaster performing stand-up comedy. FEATURES. Oklahoma Speakers 2023. Tiger Woods played well over the weekend in the Los Angeles Open sponsored by Genesis, the parent company of Hyundai. Argus Hamilton. It was reported Tuesday that Las Vegas hotels on the Strip were having a real cannabis problem. But the successful stand-up comedian and newspaper columnist made a startling discovery about fun almost 30 years ago. Its noteworthy that Colonel Sanders never stored his secret blend of 11 herbs and spices in a garage. Argus' daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, including the Humor Times, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Hollywood legendary movie star Raquel Welch died after a short illness in L.A. Wednesday at age eighty-two. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus jokes. The Hollywood Bowl was jam-packed Saturday night with movie stars, and longtime friends and music fans to pay tribute to the great Willie Nelson on his 90th birthday. The Treasury Department released Congressional Budget Office statistics revealing that federal revenue this year will top $4 trillion dollars, mostly from income taxes and payroll taxes. It spooked even Big Bank customers like me. Madonna blamed ageism and sexism President Biden will deliver his State of the Union tonight before a joint session of the House and Senate gathered in the House Chamber in the U.S. Capitol. The billionaire is off the grid along with staff including his yacht captain and crew, his science advisor and several women. Argus Hamilton Biography | Booking Info for Speaking Engagements In the news, Bill Maher was sued for joking that Donald Trump is the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan. Hamilton: State of Union is strong; at least when it comes to eggs. Fox News cited an intelligence report Thursday saying UFO sightings have surged in the past two years in the U.S. CNN, NBC and ABC reported there were 400 sightings of UFOs in the U.S. last week. Argus Hamilton - Facebook Comedian and columnist Argus Hamilton's daily monologue of jokes on news events, politics, sports and celebrities. Excerpts from Argus' column are heard regularly on radio stations across the country and are quoted in the Los Angeles Times as well as in the Argus Hamilton's bio posted by Susan Shelley @ 2:39 AM Do the Bidens ever take one day off? Argus Hamilton's humor column, now in its second decade, appears five days a week on the Internet and in over 100 newspapers across the U.S. That's not all. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Miley Cyrus and Much More! President Biden was a big hit in Ireland Wednesday. Laugh Factory Simone showed tremendous courage by stepping down from the very top because her mental state isn't quite right. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Hamilton: Did Madonna get stung by a bee? "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". Ads from car dealers and private sellers. magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. It costs $6 million for a 30-second commercial. Argus Hamilton's Rogue Report - Argus Hamilton - Jewish World Review Thomas Sowell Column on Twitter: "Argus Hamilton - Argus Hamilton's The president sees an opening here. 14-Juillet: o voir les feux d'artifice sur la Cte d'Azur? - BFMTV Everyone agrees he needs at least three more concussions to be as funny as Terry Bradshaw. President Biden gleefully mocked Donald Trump Friday for issuing a limited set of trading cards as NFT for $99 on the crypto market. In college I dedicated my life to causing as much trouble as he did. To know more, please view our, Political Column syndicated in 180 newspapers across the US daily, Official Comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial. Who is Argus Hamilton, and why is everybody quoting him? The court ruled that its discriminatory to make only the white and Asian high school students do their homework.Apple was reported Monday to be using college interns who work for free in Apples Chinese assembly factories. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Its a full-service bank. Argus Hamilton U.S. Olympic athletes inspired debates on cable news Monday on whether they represent the U.S. or themselves at the Games, and I'd say they represent us all. AAE is one of the premier celebrity booking agencies and top keynote speakers bureaus in the world. You can enjoy Argus' nationally syndicated column five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. Argus was honored by Oklahoma Governor Brad Henry as the official comedian of the Oklahoma Centennial and appeared with the governor in the 2007 Tournament of Roses Parade. Check out our current wonderful Sustaining Supporters here! Electing a guy with Donald Trump's personality as the president is like marrying a nymphomaniac. Help us keep the lights on with a small (or large!) "I'm an English Monarchist and a Southern secessionist," Argus says. Argus Hamilton performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. The Read more, On the royal baby, Detroit bankruptcy, immigration, and many more hilarious subjects! In a nod to Holy Week, MSNBC crucifies Trump every morning and every afternoon Fox News raises him from the dead. At. Argus on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. However consider the argument for sloth. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. The Southerner is an outspoken conservative and a loyal Trump ally. However the bar is set pretty high for Brady. The Super Bowl is played today between the Philadelphia Eagles and Kansas City Chiefs at State Farm Stadium in Phoenix. These cookies do not store any personal information. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including The San Francisco Chronicle and the Los Angeles Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine and by radio personalities including Paul Harvey. Argus James Hamilton III is the son, grandson and great-grandson of Methodist ministers in the South. New Zealand transgender weightlifter Laurel Hubbard was gracious to the IOC, to Japan and to her fans after she failed all three lifts with the whole world watching. That explains everything. Argus Hamilton's daily column of jokes on the news, now carried in over 100 newspapers across the United States, is also read and heard by millions on the Internet and on radio stations across the country. Argus Hamilton is the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." Patron-only posts and messages YOU MIGHT LIKE Going to The Store $5 / month Its the most liberal court in America. Its nearly impossible for his friends to get him the right birthday gift. We thank you. Argus Hamilton - Humor Times My direct ancestor Lord James Hamilton founded Northern Ireland for King James I in 1606 and flooded County Ulster with British Protestants. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Here's part four of our annual look at the Year in Jokes. Argus Hamilton creating comedy column and videos Argus Hamilton Select a membership level Official Patron $3 / month Thank you for supporting Argus and his column! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. By Argus Hamilton Published August 4, 2021 The White House didn't comment Monday on why President Biden was not invited to Barack Obama's sixtieth birthday party. By Argus Hamilton. A taxing Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. Naturally Disney changed everything to make it acceptable to todays woke culture. GALLERIES. Reaction was bad. Copyright 1979 - 2022. Scientists say its far from over and prepare for new variants. Any debate between Trump and Biden should be held in the balcony of the Muppet Theater. Comedian and nationally syndicated columnist Argus Hamilton entertains at corporate events and meetings around the country. Thomas Sowell Column on Twitter: "Argus Hamilton - Argus Hamilton's Laugh Factory, LaughFactory.com, the Laugh Factory logo, and all media posted have proprietary rights and are registered as trademarks and copyrights, of Laugh Factory Inc., or its affiliates. Argus is regularly quoted by daily newspapers including the San Francisco Chronicle, the Los Angeles Times and the Seattle Times, by weekly business papers including the Orange County Business Journal, by Time magazine, by sports columnists around the country, and by radio hosts who took a cue from the late Paul Harvey, one of Argus longtime fans and admirers. The difference is President Biden twice last week indicated that he is planning to announce that hes running for re-election for president soon. Bookmark the page and share it! Hamilton is well known among newspaper readers for his daily syndicated column, now carried in more than 100 newspapers, in which he pokes fun at news and newsmakers. He must have passed the physical. However last week in L.A., I. When he's in Los Angeles, he can be seen working out the latest material nightly at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. Argus performs at corporate, political and charity events around the country. I read about it in a Conde Nast tourism article, Two Reasons to Visit Seattle. Get access to a bi-monthly live Q&A with Argus (and sometimes a special guest!). His wife had just told him were out of bacon and theres only one beer left. Argus Hamilton, Southern Man of Taste - Apple Podcasts A proud graduate of the University of Oklahoma and now based in Los Angeles, Argus brings an unusual perspective to the news from Washington and around the country. Get access to a fantastic community of comedy fans! The inventor of the Stairmaster died at 54, the inventor of gymnastics died at 57 and the inventor of opium died at the age of 116, during an earthquake. Argus Hamilton - Comedian Argus Hamilton's hilarious political humor column is available five days a week, Tuesday through Friday and Sunday, 52 weeks a year. They handle millions of web visitors at a time. Argus Hamilton Comments on the News: Rodeo Clowns & Much More! Presidents Day celebrates George Washington and Abraham Lincoln while Americans prepare to choose again between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. HOLLYWOOD--God bless America, and hows everybody?Tiger Woods is favored to win the Masters for the first time since his serial adultery blew up his marriage three years ago. "Let's see Rush Limbaugh get to the right of that.". Meet the funniest topical comedian in America, the man Robin Williams once called "the Will Rogers of the Baby Boom." sustaining monthly donation. "What I would tell my fellow alcoholics and drug addicts is the biggest surprise I ever got is that recovery is more fun than partying. Argus Hamilton is an American stand-up comedian, writer, and host of The Comedy Store Tonight starring Argus Hamilton. Some of them wanted to exclude massage parlors, dog tracks and porn shops but didnt have the votes. 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