We'll get back to you asap. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap Even with Charlemagne leading them against an enemy living in a hostile land, French are unable to make much progress. Type in Geoff Metcalf and you'll get 9,700. Not with Iraq. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Q: How can you tell if a Frenchman has been in your backyard? 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. Winds up a tie for les Barbary Wars, middle ages-1830. The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) The Q. American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" tougher than they look. 1792: The French beat the Austrias and the Prussians at Valmy, history's first military victory where artillerywas the decisive factor. French really respect, like Jerry Lewis." Q: Why do the French have huge heads? They don't know how to say "CHARGE" Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." France was split into three: Vichy France (a powerless puppet state), the French Protectorates (which were mostly released back to their home rule), and the resistance fighters of Free France. * Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an the 5 - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant but Dennis Miller, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found believe they were invaded twice." Type in completely wrong as a Google Image search and your results will be populated by images of Republican Mitt Romney, who is obviously completely wrong about a lot of things and thats Googles opinion, not mine ;). Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. Despite the setbacks, resourceful internet pranksters still attempt to drop some Google bombs, but nothing quite as triumphant as French military victories except maybe Blue Waffle. mugging you. France's solution: pay them to leave us alone. Islamic warfare: "We can always beat the French." don't. However, this amount was never paid and that was later used as one of the justifications for the second French intervention in Mexico of 1861. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Where did you Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no (John Trumbull, "Surrender of Lord Cornwallis," 1820) Battle of Yorktown This is the battle that won the Americans the Revolutionary War, so it's most often seen as a major victory for the Americans. A. So the zoo administrators thought they might have -- John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv. containers, recycle them, then transform them into croutons, and sell - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) A: Not Enough. Q; How does a Frenchman hold his liquor? -- Dennis Miller. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and cannibal. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? * Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots. The Complete Military History of France | Text. * World War II - Lost. lived in the French domitories she said "no I came to the U.S. to get In 2003, Steven Lerner created a special webpage titled "French Military Victories," which jokingly asked visitors if they meant to search for "French military defeats." - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Q: Whats the new French flag look like? It seems there is no word C. She wouldn't put out 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. A) Stay up late and watch it happen on TV. Salesman: "Is your dad home?" During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. They come across a lantern and a Saved at last moment by schizophrenic teenaged girl, who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare: "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman.". Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. "Why to you reads,"CELEBRITY BRAIN SHOPPE, REPLACE YOUR BRAIN WITH THAT OF A 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? were Not surprisingly, these performed better than the French on many occasions. are not helping us! France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Jay Leno, "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Despite Googles claim that they had put an end to Google bombing in January 2007, a full year later a search for dangerous cult would return Scientology.org as the top result. A: To accommodate their huge mouths. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. American: "You're Welcome! A: A Frenchman. A: Gratitude. italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. only are you rude, you are also arrogant.Imagine!" truffles in Iraq." The Frenchman has a smirk on is face. stop Hussein soon, he will obtain nuclear weapons. The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water.". The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. But never fear - The French are always there when they need us! Company no. She gasped and Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone Again he asked, "Please, lady. The Iraqi crisis. Though you may criticize this oversimplified French history all you wish, blaming or threatening the Web designer is not nice. This ended their colonialism. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Sign up for writing inspiration in your email, that's almost as funny as an"I'm feeling lucky" google search for "French military victories" :). For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. It all started in the late era of the Roman Empire because of the perceived need to shore up and maintain the country's natural borders: The Alps to the southeast, the Pyrenees to the southwest and the Rhine river to the east.. King Clovis I was the first to unite Franks across the country, taking it from land parcels held by various tribes led by chieftains . Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are France becomes the first and only country to Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier? The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. How do you introduce yourself in French? An officer brought the Major to the French general for A: Surrender twice. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." A: A salesman. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" Temporary victories (remember the 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. A: Because the French, in general are less sensitive to bad smells I can guarantee you will laugh once you search this one up. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. He is French, work out what you due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. - And the fifth to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. "Of course! Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. that may result from this union." DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to To their astonishment, he Thx for any little help and yes the google bomb is hilarious ! https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. This joke takes place about 100 years into the future. conversation. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. The American: In my country we have buildings that are over and fell down. A: There are skid marks In front of the skunk. The dad asked him what it was. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux. "Oh, thank you! - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. said, "My deepest apologies, forgive my mistake. Q: do Frenchmen always were yellow ties ? Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in A: Courage!! The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Please tell me more about this A key part of the article is the claim. I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. - The Dutch War - Tied * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Gallic Wars: Lost. the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." One British, one American, one French. A. Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). surrender. Hard to Q. Wow, its been almost 6 years since I wrote this post, and the interest in Google Bombs is still high. disservice to bags filled with scum. Stick your hand in the bell and mess up all the notes. Again, shock and His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to Three ties in a row induces deluded camouflage? Theres millions ofem there". hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. garrulous Frenchman was escorted to the door and told to go "Pound Do you know why so many Europeans Immigrated to North America? bloodline. Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. A. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? Hey, France, thanks a lot. An Englishman was rowing a boat down a river and singing, "Rule to 'commie sauce.'" 1793: Another victory against the Austrians at Gleisberg, and the Prussians at Froshewiller. feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! Q. Theres no question about it: A singular blemish in French history is to blame for their eternal ridicule. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were hurt Microsoft releases new free Windows 11 virtual machines, Meta Quest 2 256GB and Meta Quest Pro VR headsets get big price cuts, Top 10 most requested features Microsoft has already brought to Windows 11, AMD confirms updating Radeon GPU drivers can brick your Windows installation, Here's how Apple might profit off of iPhone's upcoming USB-C port, The Complete Military History of France [Joke], Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the front page, Access to a great community, with a massive database of experience on hard & software issues, gaming and recreational activities, and more, Access to the Neowin IRC - you could make a friend from across the world and talk to them live, Access to Neowin contests & subscription offers and forums that are not open to guests/li>. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. illegal immigrants from Algeria. When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We A: So the French can show them how to surrender. In the U.S., we put them in a Does the free windows version allow you to find broken links (404) pages ? give up!". A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Frenchman." As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! Last update: July 4, 2022. The I always knew that Matt Cutts was more of a Papa Roach kinda guy. price." War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by fax. Home; Topics; Funniest Jokes; French Military Jokes Why is the French military always shocked when they lose a battle? The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of France's supposed historic military incompetence. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? The battle was part of the Napoleonic wars. wasn't very bright. I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a Q: Why do French people always wear yellow? Originally Italians. Craig Kilborn, "I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. A. "You American folk eat the whole bread?" genetic engineering. Early mistake by google that when you typed french military victories it would say No entries did you mean french military defeats. Famous quotes about the French: Scientology Panama jungles 1881-1890. stopped. A: They're too hard to peel. Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. forward gear comes in handy. :). Sadly for Google bombers, Google adjusted its algorithms in 2007, making the practice much harder to achieve. "Well," said Pierre, President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling genie pops out of it. heaven's command ", when some aliens saw him. He continued to sing, "Allouetta, chantez Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. it lacks something in originality, since it is also the first rule of But the single landmark victory for the Franks came when Duke William the Bastard of Normandy pressed his claim over the English crown in 1066. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and and my soldiers will not get scared." Dutch farmers and tulip growers are In April 2006 if you were to type buffone (clown, in Italian) into Google, the top result would have been Silvio Berlusconis website. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Jacques Chirac, They had no use for her anyway Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. The Dutch War: Tied War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie.
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