Steve Urkel: Oh, pasha, you're making me blush again. Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. Am is a verb, verbs are our friends. Harriette Winslow: Why? I wanna read it to my mom. Carl Otis Winslow: [Takes the money from Eddie] I love you son. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! And I don't get many calls! Forget it, Steve. Carl: AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Get down from there! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Join. Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! He opted ofr early retirement. Lt. Murtaugh: Yeah like that's gonna bring him back. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well hold on there big guy, listen to this. Steve Urkel: All right! "Pass the salt, Edward." Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Harriette Winslow: What's wrong with that? But I like myself, and that makes me cool. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. [to self] WOW! Laura: Ma, the package said to cook it at 275 for 20 minutes. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. 11 days ago. So, is it all right with you? Maxine Johnson: Was there a line to get your pictures taken when you guys walked in? If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. Laura: [gasps] I'm sorry, I'm so sorry please forgive me. What's up? Carl Otis Winslow: You look horrible. Laura Lee Winslow: No it wasn't. Right now we're going to have a wedding, but directly after that we're going to have a funeral. I have a muscle in my forehead that will not stop jerking! Now I know, I'm not worthy of you- but I love you more now then I did then- Laura Lee Winslow- will you marry me? Harriette Winslow: Carl, I'm up in Laura's room and she looks at me, and she asks 'Why, Mom? I promised grandma I'd help her get ready. My mom's the one who really messed up. Steve Urkel: No, I don't like to disturb anyone. Laura Lee Winslow: [Laura grabs Steve and his clone on their ears] Okay, let's take a moment and figure out what we learned here. Waldo: Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going. How did you know? Laura: You know, I just don't get why people are so afraid of our history. Well, name a couple. No. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. No. Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. Harriette Winslow: Oh lord. My doctor slapped the wrong end. Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Don't nothing, never mind me, Carl. Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Edward! Pull your gun right now. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Donna Santangelo: And get this, Urkel's tuxedo fits! Aunt Oona: The water main snapped when the roof collapsed. [laughs]. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Harriette Winslow: [Opens the candy box] Candy missing. Laura: I do want a guy with something upstairs, but, uh, I also want a well-built staircase. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! People stopped and starred, called me names, and some even spit at me. Read the card, read the card. Harriette Winslow: And it would be nice if you would support me sometimes instead of hiding behind your napkin and caring what the other people think. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Gosh I bet that's never happened before. Five hundred on the line. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura! Oh my God! Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son. She xeroxed it over and over and over and over and [Steve covers his mouth for one second. [kisses Laura] Love you. And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: The Snooze Juice. I'm sorry, call you next week? Carl: Typical. Carl Otis Winslow: You know son, if Screwing Up ever became an Olympic event. Laura: Science class. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need? "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Now, I'm gonna give you a compliment. Your dad's runnin' late. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? Harriette Winslow: So Oona how are things in Altoona? I feel stupid! Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. You have a lot of qualitites girls really go for. I can almost see what you had for lunch! Steve Urkel: Steve Urkel! Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. From now on, no parties and no TV. Who? Steve Urkel: Is there anything I can do for you while I'm down here waiting? So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Steve Urkel: No, but it was moving kinda fast. We all stand nice and quiet until Gramps and Granny make it legal. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. Carl Otis Winslow: Well is she still crying? Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? Rachel Crawford: Steve!, Steve! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Waldo heads into the kitchen as Steve emerges] You o.k., Eddo? Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. It's the closest I'll ever get to marrying you- thats why I wanted you to have this- no strings attached- just the one to my heart. Poor Laura has worked so hard and now she has to drop out of the race. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Carl Otis Winslow: He's trouble. Rachel Crawford: Well, I'm planning dinner for a very, very special friend. Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Waldo: You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. What are you? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Bright side? The valet gave me a tip. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. You think I'm fat. If you have something to say, just spit it out. [laughs]. And we practiced for six minutes! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! You have the right to remain silent. This isn't right Weasel. Carl Otis Winslow: Why not try the truth! then removes his hand]. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? I can't even tell her it won't ever happen again! That's one for the books! In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? Who? Laura Lee Winslow: Oh lord, you're gonna die. https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_102099, https://www.quotes.net/movies/family_matters_quotes_102099. [He leaves and minutes later Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his accordion]. Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Carl Otis Winslow: That a girl, Harriette. Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? So they picked up all our stuff and moved us. Bye! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Self respect. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. No. 5. Harriette Winslow: Every time she stops, she starts all over again. No one's ever called you 'shrimp'. So one day I decided to do something about it. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Harriette Winslow: Not as rough as Aunt Clotilda. It's just for the family Steve stop begging. Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. urkel-steve. Laura: So do you Max, guess what, Steve rented us a limo. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Okay, first question. Can you imagine that? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Steve Urkel: [Rushed] That's all. Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? [Goes to feel his head]. Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp? I had 8 shots of Espresso, a 6-pack of Jolt Cola, and a large bowl of Froot Loops with extra sugar. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? You're always sorry. Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. [plugs the cord into the socket]. Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. He's having the same discussion with his father. [Waldo has just given Eddie a list of IOU at Mighty Weenie]. Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours. 8. They help move along our sentences. Robber: Oh yeah? Steve Urkel: Really? Harriette Winslow: What a miserable evening. Laura Lee Winslow: If you have to ask, pass. Waldo: Excuse me, but I don't wanna hear about a bug's sex life. Dr. Goodrich: Ms. Crawford, I am a medical doctor, not a carnival act! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Laura, when I was about your age, I LOVED to read, just like you. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. Kanye West name-dropped "Family Matters" star Steve Urkel on his My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy track, "Dark Fantasy." However, Ye originally thought a similar line rapped by T-Pain was "corny," the "Buy U A Drank" singer claims.. As reported by HipHopDX on Tuesday (Sept. 7), T-Pain says Ye stole the concept for the Urkel-referencing line after hearing a similar lyric on his . I'm drawn to you. Carl Otis Winslow: [after picking up Eddie who was arrested for gambling] Edward, stop looking around for Steve, he's at his own home having this same conversation with his parents. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. Why, it'll ruin my transcript! Willie Fuffner: Because, he humiliated me! Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow. Rachel Crawford: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. What is the value of X? Especially this one, since Urkel breaks the fourth wall at the end. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? He woke me up too. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. Steve Urkel: From my stay-away fund. Steve Urkel: Come on everybody, let's ooh the durkel! Steve Urkel: Edo, cheating is like wearing your grandmother's underpants. I promise, okay? I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids. The truth is you deserve a kiss. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! A mouse to cheese! Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. Carl, Eddie: [after Carl gets shocked from the electrical current] STEVE! Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well it wasn't funny. Dont you know when you make a mistake, you fess up to it. Steve Urkel: You yelled at me and you called me a butthead! When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Hey, you could be making this whole thing up! Does that about cover it? I will not give you a lock of my hair. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. Oh! Steve Urkel: Uh no. No. Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! No phones. [stares at the racist cop] Black. [Eddie groans as Carl walks in to brighten his mood], [Eddie leaves with Carl to hang out with him. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. But just to be sure, I'm going downstairs to check the dictionary. Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. A bee to a blossom. Well, he got it trapped in the rear door of a Buick and was dragged eight and a half blocks. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Laura Lee Winslow: Does shag carpet also make you crazy? Harriette Winslow: I simply put out his cigar. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Ok dad. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! More like The Repulsions. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss?
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